Bow Chicka Scuzz Scuzz

So I decided that my boyfriend's office needed a little redecorating via Scuzzing out. After perfectly placing them in visually optimal spots I turned around to see this...A) Where did that weirdo can come from B) I guess he's seen Happy Gilmore one too many times. I forgot to mention that Jonathan works for a post production house, but I think maybe this little guy got the wrong idea about exactly WHAT kind of film productions they are working on there. It actually makes perfect sense though, I mean, he already has he dirty mustache. Hmmmm, maybe I'm onto something here, he may have a promising career in the adult film industry. NOT!!! Over my dead body fools! After thinking it over, I actually decided to take him home, wash his mouth out with soap and put him to bed without dessert or interwebs. That a baaaaaad Scuzz.

A Little Scuzz in the Big Apple

So, this photo came courtesy of the newest Scuzzy owner in the Big Apple. Looks like she's made her self at home and had taken the "help yourself to anything" to heart. After a day of sight seeing, buying counterfeit purses on Canal Street, eating street meat until she threw up, and trying her luck at mugging an unsuspecting tourist, little Scuzz has helped herself to a delicious dirty martini...actually extra dirty...

Well, I guess she got a little too dirty with her martinis...After her third of the evening at her new place, she decided to head down to the village to party with the celebs at the Waverly and continued on Chelsea with some trannys she met outside on the corner. After too much glitz, glitter and fake eyelashes, said trannys threw her in the back of the cab and this is how her new owner found her the next morning...silly Scuzzy, dirty martinis are for...well, the rest of us.

So this is newest transplant to the STL. This little moustachioed Scuzzy is on his way to St. Louis, MO. I guess it really IS a midwest thang. I'm kind of jealous because I'm sure he'll be attending many a Budweiser brewery tours scamming free samples from unsuspecting, underpaid employees. I've also been hearing whispers of a winery trip. I noticed that he packed snack bags of Captain Crunch, a nice slice of Brie and Golden Flake Sweat Heat BBQ chips to smuggle in. Hey, we're in a recession here, I can 't blame him for trying to save a buck. Who pays retail anymore? So it's with a heavy heart and a smile that I send him off. Lacey, make sure you have plastic covers on the couch and watch out for the cling wrap on the toilet trick. I guess he'll have to "show me" what it's like up there. Au revoir sucka!

See You in September Fools!

Alright Kids, Scuzzy has decided to grace the East Atlanta Strut's with it's presence.  Artists market, 5K, music and a parade.  Look out for new styles, custom Scuzzy's and all around debauchery...stay tuned for more to come!

My New Obssesh

Ok, so since I've been Scuzzing my tush off the past couple of weeks...I needed a short vacay with the fam spot. For brother Jer's b-day we road tripped it to Key West. Enter Baby's Coffee...on th way back we stopped at Baby's Coffee on the way home and-uhh-mah-gahd! Like the best coffee I've ever had. I promptly bought two pounds to bring back to the ATL. I'm actually drinking some at this very moment and slopped some down the front of my shirt...fail. So, if you are thinking "Man, Shannon is so witty and with it...I wonder where she gets her witty repartee from?" Try some Baby's Coffee...like a BOSS!

Welcome to the Jungle...

So I was in the middle of an EPIC Roseanne marathon on Oxygen when I heard some mischief coming from the kitchen. I found my custom Lion Scuzzy making a snack out of poor Monster Scuzzy. Maybe if I wasn't such a deadbeat I could pay more attention to the little guys, but between Roseanne's cackle, Aunt Jackie's shennanigans and Darlene's emo mood swings, I was a little distracted. R.I.P Blue Scuzz...I'll pour one for me, and one for my homies.

I Don't Want to Say I Told You So, but....I Told You So...

So, this picture was sent to me by the lucky owners of one of the Scuzzys from the Indie Craft Experience last weekend. I hate to say I told you so, wait no I don't, but I told you so. This little sucker wasn't even home for 2 hours before he was caught red(wax) handed in the liquor cabinet. Sorry Josh...I guess make sure you have an ample supply of cheese puffs, online poker, and Tums. You might want to invest in a plastic bucket as well.

We Came, We Saw, We Scuzzed

Thank you to all of our fellow Scuzzy friends who came out and supported us at the Indie Craft Experience this weekend in Centennial Park! In the words of Borat it was a "GREEEEAT SUCCESS". Despite a couple of these numbskulls showing up hungover (one threw up rainbows in the suitcase) most of the Scuzzys were on the best behavior. We had to say a sad good bye to most of them as they have new homes now. Quick disclaimer...I am not responsible for mysterious loss of Sweetwater 420 or High Life, disappearance of kittens or other small animals or an increase in visitation at adult websites. You newbies have been warned.

Atlanta is Getting a Little Scuzzier

So our Scuzzy friends will be making their debut at the Indie Craft Experience (I.C.E) May 30-21st in Centennial Park...WOOT WOOT!!! I've been informed that there will be extra security for the event so hopefully they will stay in line. Just keep the Wild Turkey and Schiltz away please. Hope to see you all there!!

YIPEEE HORAAAY!

Congrats to the Brinsons!!! They are the newest owners of gender non-specific Scuzzy; oh yeah and a new baby too. Good luck with your new additions. At least one of them will eventually be potty trained...

SCUZZY UPDATE

Awww mama is so proud. Chi O Scuzzy, Kitty Scuzz and gender non-specific yellow bunny Scuzz have all found homes across the country...and by across the country I mean Florida, New York and South Carolina. Hopefully Chi O Scuzzy has learned to stay away from the Strawberry Passion Boone's Farm, to avoid another unfortunate toilet hugging situation. Hug is out Scuzz. I've been getting mediocre reports on Kitty Scuzz, he has learned to use the litter box and stop spraying the decorative artificial Ikea grass, but still has a nasty candy cigarette problem. I think he's up to a pack a day now, the poor little gipper. Not much in the world of gender non-specific yellow bunny Scuzz...but a face like that, only a mother could love...or throw in a dumpster.

In Scuzzys

Behold Radiohead Bear Scuzzy. I would tell you more about him, but it's quite introverted and frankly I don't know. I know he loves ambient intellectual indie rock, cups-o-tea and high definition light shows. Judging from his gnarly teeth and love of Monster Munch, I would definitely say he's English. He has asked that his asking price be set at whatever the buyer sees fit, but umm who am I kidding, we're in a recession here, and I need some new boots.

'Tis the Season to be Scuzzy

'Tis the season indeed. Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through the ATL not a creature was ready, not even a Scuzz. Caught these three the morning after their office Christmas party. Needless to say too much eggnog and Hot Toddy's were had. After some incriminating photos surfaced, one could only conclude that in the spirit of the holiday season, one, or all three Scuzzys were found to have taken off their pants and made obscene photocopies on the Xerox. Also, it was a dry party, so pretty much they are just perverts. Maybe if they are good for the rest of the year, Santa will bring them the deluxe set of Paula Deen cookware that they have been eyeing, but probably not.

I'm Workin 9 to Scuzz

With the economy in the crapper and money being tight this holiday season, this guy has been forced to actually make his own money. As you can see he's been answering phones off the hook and doing lots of paperwork. But the lack of opposable thumbs has made this a very overwhelming task. Apparently, his excessive use of brake time is becoming a problem. He likes to socialize with the other smokers on the loading deck, but no one has the heart to tell him that they are actually candy cigarettes.



Kitty Scuzz has decided to jump on the bandwagon as well and join the workforce. Despite being late at least four days a week, he has gotten good reviews...his tardiness can be directly attributed to his fondness for Chick-fil-a bacon egg and cheese biscuit sandwiches and falling asleep on Marta; missing his stop from being up all night watching reruns of the Nanny and playing online poker. He may also be under investigation for the suspicious disappearance of a large number 2 pencils and super sticky post it notes from the community office supply drawer. Any accusations are purely speculative at this point.

When are You Coming to FLAHRIDAH?

ROAD TRIP! So, it's that time of year when all the snowbirds flock down to Florida...So is true for the life of the Scuzzy. Their love of warm weather and having dinner at 4:30 convinced me that they need to take a trip to the 'rents house in SW Florida. I've heard they already booked the 5 o clock seating at the country club my parents go to. Stingers anyone? I have to be truthful in saying that it is my intention that only half of them will make it back. I've asked my mother to take them to a local craft fair, where hopefully they will be snatched up. I hope my mom remembered to get out the John Denver Christmas album...after all, it's after Halloween, so technically is Christmas season.

I want to Ride my Suzzcycle

So, of course, with my place being in the middle of Hipsterville Atlanta, I stumbled upon hipster single speed bike Scuzz. He tends to be a little emotionally unavailable but really enjoys a good grilled cheese sandwich. His pants are too tight most of the time...he refuses to shop at Urban Outfitters, but of course will shell out 300 bucks for the new iPhone. When I came home I found a pack of Parliament lights on the table and the new TV on the Radio blaring...needless to say...I knew who it was.

Scuzzing in the Rain

So, I found this two in my bathroom on the toilet this morning. It is my understanding that they mistook it for a hot tub and tried to have naughty fun times in it. The yellow one has been smirking like an idiot all day so who knows what they've done. I was only led to believe this after I found strawberries and bubbles in my toilet. I only wish I had told them that in my attempts to be "green" I've adopted an "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" mantra.

Scuzzy Lovin

So, this afternoon we found these two spooning on the couch. BARF! Ahhh young love, how we love and hate you. Keep checking back on the evolution of this budding relationship for these two. Sat night plans include never ending pasta at Olive Garden, listening to a John Mayer CD and ultimately more spooning.

Scuzzy Stardust

Straight off a night of boozing and cruising, meet Scuzzy Stardust and the funky bunch. We've had to keep a close eye on them being that they keep stealing our Boone's Farm and cigarettes. The yellow one on the right might have also eaten a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak out of our garbage, but we can neither confirm or deny that at this point in time.

The Scuzz Runeth Over

It's been a very scuzzy Saturday...these two decided to rejoice at the passing of the bailout. RAPTURE! But I guess since Scuzzy's don't really pay taxes, it doesn't much matter. They are planning on drafting a proposal to add a 3 cent tax on shoe laces to add to the plan. Don't hate, they are just doing their civic duty.