SCUZZY UPDATE

Awww mama is so proud. Chi O Scuzzy, Kitty Scuzz and gender non-specific yellow bunny Scuzz have all found homes across the country...and by across the country I mean Florida, New York and South Carolina. Hopefully Chi O Scuzzy has learned to stay away from the Strawberry Passion Boone's Farm, to avoid another unfortunate toilet hugging situation. Hug is out Scuzz. I've been getting mediocre reports on Kitty Scuzz, he has learned to use the litter box and stop spraying the decorative artificial Ikea grass, but still has a nasty candy cigarette problem. I think he's up to a pack a day now, the poor little gipper. Not much in the world of gender non-specific yellow bunny Scuzz...but a face like that, only a mother could love...or throw in a dumpster.

In Scuzzys

Behold Radiohead Bear Scuzzy. I would tell you more about him, but it's quite introverted and frankly I don't know. I know he loves ambient intellectual indie rock, cups-o-tea and high definition light shows. Judging from his gnarly teeth and love of Monster Munch, I would definitely say he's English. He has asked that his asking price be set at whatever the buyer sees fit, but umm who am I kidding, we're in a recession here, and I need some new boots.

'Tis the Season to be Scuzzy

'Tis the season indeed. Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through the ATL not a creature was ready, not even a Scuzz. Caught these three the morning after their office Christmas party. Needless to say too much eggnog and Hot Toddy's were had. After some incriminating photos surfaced, one could only conclude that in the spirit of the holiday season, one, or all three Scuzzys were found to have taken off their pants and made obscene photocopies on the Xerox. Also, it was a dry party, so pretty much they are just perverts. Maybe if they are good for the rest of the year, Santa will bring them the deluxe set of Paula Deen cookware that they have been eyeing, but probably not.

I'm Workin 9 to Scuzz

With the economy in the crapper and money being tight this holiday season, this guy has been forced to actually make his own money. As you can see he's been answering phones off the hook and doing lots of paperwork. But the lack of opposable thumbs has made this a very overwhelming task. Apparently, his excessive use of brake time is becoming a problem. He likes to socialize with the other smokers on the loading deck, but no one has the heart to tell him that they are actually candy cigarettes.



Kitty Scuzz has decided to jump on the bandwagon as well and join the workforce. Despite being late at least four days a week, he has gotten good reviews...his tardiness can be directly attributed to his fondness for Chick-fil-a bacon egg and cheese biscuit sandwiches and falling asleep on Marta; missing his stop from being up all night watching reruns of the Nanny and playing online poker. He may also be under investigation for the suspicious disappearance of a large number 2 pencils and super sticky post it notes from the community office supply drawer. Any accusations are purely speculative at this point.

When are You Coming to FLAHRIDAH?

ROAD TRIP! So, it's that time of year when all the snowbirds flock down to Florida...So is true for the life of the Scuzzy. Their love of warm weather and having dinner at 4:30 convinced me that they need to take a trip to the 'rents house in SW Florida. I've heard they already booked the 5 o clock seating at the country club my parents go to. Stingers anyone? I have to be truthful in saying that it is my intention that only half of them will make it back. I've asked my mother to take them to a local craft fair, where hopefully they will be snatched up. I hope my mom remembered to get out the John Denver Christmas album...after all, it's after Halloween, so technically is Christmas season.

I want to Ride my Suzzcycle

So, of course, with my place being in the middle of Hipsterville Atlanta, I stumbled upon hipster single speed bike Scuzz. He tends to be a little emotionally unavailable but really enjoys a good grilled cheese sandwich. His pants are too tight most of the time...he refuses to shop at Urban Outfitters, but of course will shell out 300 bucks for the new iPhone. When I came home I found a pack of Parliament lights on the table and the new TV on the Radio blaring...needless to say...I knew who it was.

Scuzzing in the Rain

So, I found this two in my bathroom on the toilet this morning. It is my understanding that they mistook it for a hot tub and tried to have naughty fun times in it. The yellow one has been smirking like an idiot all day so who knows what they've done. I was only led to believe this after I found strawberries and bubbles in my toilet. I only wish I had told them that in my attempts to be "green" I've adopted an "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" mantra.