'Tis the Season to be Scuzzy

'Tis the season indeed. Twas two weeks before Christmas and all through the ATL not a creature was ready, not even a Scuzz. Caught these three the morning after their office Christmas party. Needless to say too much eggnog and Hot Toddy's were had. After some incriminating photos surfaced, one could only conclude that in the spirit of the holiday season, one, or all three Scuzzys were found to have taken off their pants and made obscene photocopies on the Xerox. Also, it was a dry party, so pretty much they are just perverts. Maybe if they are good for the rest of the year, Santa will bring them the deluxe set of Paula Deen cookware that they have been eyeing, but probably not.

I'm Workin 9 to Scuzz

With the economy in the crapper and money being tight this holiday season, this guy has been forced to actually make his own money. As you can see he's been answering phones off the hook and doing lots of paperwork. But the lack of opposable thumbs has made this a very overwhelming task. Apparently, his excessive use of brake time is becoming a problem. He likes to socialize with the other smokers on the loading deck, but no one has the heart to tell him that they are actually candy cigarettes.



Kitty Scuzz has decided to jump on the bandwagon as well and join the workforce. Despite being late at least four days a week, he has gotten good reviews...his tardiness can be directly attributed to his fondness for Chick-fil-a bacon egg and cheese biscuit sandwiches and falling asleep on Marta; missing his stop from being up all night watching reruns of the Nanny and playing online poker. He may also be under investigation for the suspicious disappearance of a large number 2 pencils and super sticky post it notes from the community office supply drawer. Any accusations are purely speculative at this point.

When are You Coming to FLAHRIDAH?

ROAD TRIP! So, it's that time of year when all the snowbirds flock down to Florida...So is true for the life of the Scuzzy. Their love of warm weather and having dinner at 4:30 convinced me that they need to take a trip to the 'rents house in SW Florida. I've heard they already booked the 5 o clock seating at the country club my parents go to. Stingers anyone? I have to be truthful in saying that it is my intention that only half of them will make it back. I've asked my mother to take them to a local craft fair, where hopefully they will be snatched up. I hope my mom remembered to get out the John Denver Christmas album...after all, it's after Halloween, so technically is Christmas season.

I want to Ride my Suzzcycle

So, of course, with my place being in the middle of Hipsterville Atlanta, I stumbled upon hipster single speed bike Scuzz. He tends to be a little emotionally unavailable but really enjoys a good grilled cheese sandwich. His pants are too tight most of the time...he refuses to shop at Urban Outfitters, but of course will shell out 300 bucks for the new iPhone. When I came home I found a pack of Parliament lights on the table and the new TV on the Radio blaring...needless to say...I knew who it was.

Scuzzing in the Rain

So, I found this two in my bathroom on the toilet this morning. It is my understanding that they mistook it for a hot tub and tried to have naughty fun times in it. The yellow one has been smirking like an idiot all day so who knows what they've done. I was only led to believe this after I found strawberries and bubbles in my toilet. I only wish I had told them that in my attempts to be "green" I've adopted an "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" mantra.

Scuzzy Lovin

So, this afternoon we found these two spooning on the couch. BARF! Ahhh young love, how we love and hate you. Keep checking back on the evolution of this budding relationship for these two. Sat night plans include never ending pasta at Olive Garden, listening to a John Mayer CD and ultimately more spooning.

Scuzzy Stardust

Straight off a night of boozing and cruising, meet Scuzzy Stardust and the funky bunch. We've had to keep a close eye on them being that they keep stealing our Boone's Farm and cigarettes. The yellow one on the right might have also eaten a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak out of our garbage, but we can neither confirm or deny that at this point in time.

The Scuzz Runeth Over

It's been a very scuzzy Saturday...these two decided to rejoice at the passing of the bailout. RAPTURE! But I guess since Scuzzy's don't really pay taxes, it doesn't much matter. They are planning on drafting a proposal to add a 3 cent tax on shoe laces to add to the plan. Don't hate, they are just doing their civic duty.

My First Scuzz

We are Scuzzy's. We are made of fleece and stuffing. We have gnarly teeth and crazy eyes. Some of us have dirty mustaches. We like cloudy days, surprise parties and chicken fingers. We are also like the friend at the party who doesn't know when to leave sometimes. We think you might need us...